TAP INTO YOUR AUTHENTICITY THROUGH SELF AWARENESS

Good self-awareness is important for success in life, but few are truly well versed in self-knowledge. Self awareness is something that many of us think we grasped and are good at. You’ll hear people talk about how they know who they are… but the question is …Do you really know who you are?

I’ve spent a chunk of time trying to answer this question. I’ve tried to read, meditated, listened to podcasts and I can confidently say that it took me a while but I think I’m on the right truck. I’m deffinately a different person from when I started 2 years back and I hope I can share some of the little knowledge I’ve picked up on my self awareness journey . Self-awareness requires both internal (knowing yourself)  and external (how you’re perceived) understanding.

Focusing on your assets, meaningful activities, and evolution enables you to build self-awareness more intentionally in your life. Changing your routine, doing things you’ve never done before, trying to get out of your comfort zone.. all this has personally helped me on this journey and discovered I had so much fire within me and so much positivity to offer to whoever needs some. I have never been this fulfilled in my life. Knowing who you truly are makes you ready to face whatever comes your way.

Lack of self awareness has a profound implication for your confidence, relationships, and success in both work and life in general. A constructive path towards self-improvement when facing challenges includes reviewing both what went wrong and alternative strategies, instead of ruminating over the why.

We all have natural tendencies that can be used to foster authenticity, success and we have an inherent sense of what we find meaningful and impactful to us. By focusing on what energizes us, what we do naturally well, and work that inspires us, we can also move into developing our most authentic and best self with greater ease and enjoyment.

Here are some tips I use for discovering and cultivating my best selves: feel free to pick out those that work for you.. 😊😊

1. Develop your natural tendencies

We are born with a unique array of personality traits that, when understood and intentionally developed, can be used to improve our lives. Like using your dominant hand for physical tasks; having self-awareness of our natural tendencies can help us succeed with less energy and effort. Understanding personality traits can also help us to understand and appreciate others. I’ve always been good at paying extra attention to people and this has helped me to read different personalities and that’s why it’s easy for me to have people comfortable around me.

In addition to strengths, we can leverage many other personality tests to improve our self-awareness like values assessments, this may sound funny but I also use horoscopes these damn things are most times on point. 🤣 <excuse my language>

Make sure you take the extra effort to reflect on how your strengths and personality types express themselves throughout everything you do. Identify and experiment with ways to live your life in greater keeping with your values. Cultivating such practices regularly eventually becomes a habit that will help you become authentically self-actualized. And that’s when you will realise how awesome you actually are.

2. Cultivate meaning through purpose

We all have a different sense of what’s most meaningful to us; it’s important to pay attention to what feels most satisfying. For example, paying for a ticket for one of your favorite artist’s concert might have some people jumping out of bed to go to work each day, but might cause others to run away. What matters is that we find what is most important to us and find a way to pursue that effort regularly. Just find what brings that spark into your life and focus on it. Don’t get tired of filing your cup. When your cup is full then you can pour into other people’s cups. This is something that was really hard for me to learn being an extreme independent person makes it hard for me to ask for help yet am always ready to offer it to others. This drained my cup terribly. I’m still trying to learn how to be less independent and to know that it’s okay to be selfish sometimes. You’ve got to always come first no matter what. Unless if it’s a matter of life and death 🤔🤔. I prioritize my peace of mind and mental stability because I know what it’s like to not have it.

Also noticing what songs, stories or movies feel most moving to us can also provide clues as to what challenges feel most deeply resonant (personal communication).

I’ve also learned that it is important to be open about the path and outcome of my pursuit of purpose. Though I consider myself a pretty smart person, my current path has me in circumstances that are beautiful beyond imaginations. Too narrowly restricting the conceptualization of the outcome can close us off from great opportunities and adventures. #follow your heart and energy

To create a happy heart and energized body, wherever possible we should pursue activities that cause happiness, joy, satisfaction, and excitement, and are energizing and engaging. Using and building on our natural tendencies while in pursuit of meaningful activities is a powerful way to feel fully alive and engaged. Those that know me will tell you how magical I think it is to jump around on loud music. And this is something I do so often besides meditation.

4. Embrace openness and evolution

Since I suck at reading I usually just pick up a few lines that speak to me and somewhere I don’t recall I picked up that self-awareness can be harder for highly experienced professionals and experts because of overconfidence. Therefore, embracing openness and a willingness to change our minds, take in new information about ourselves, and apply it to our learning and growth, can enable continuous improvement in self-awareness with respect to both our inner and outer worlds.

Leveraging the many excellent resources online, in bookstores for those that love reading.. for the good listeners and writers like me finding podcasts, classes, and workshops is a great way to avoid reinventing the wheel in this important personal and professional area. Find the right resources and support and continue to evolve. The benefits will serve you for years to come.

I wish you all the best on your journey of self awareness… break a leg!!! 🤗😇

Today’s dose of self love

Story by lilian frankie

So many nights I get up at awkward hours and just sit in the dark and think about life.What is life? Why are we here? What’s the end goal. This ponders in my head for quite a few minutes.. and then I remember where I’ve come from hitherto..and I know it wasn’t all for nothing. I tell myself keep going it’s not the end yet.. if you are still here then there is a reason why.

When I feel like all hope is gone and I see no meaning to life i tell myself “Lian I love you no matter what. You are special to me, you are blessed, you are amazing and you will bring a joyful, loving and caring environment everywhere you go.” This makes me think of all those people that could be a tiny bit happier having a Lian in their life. I am here for whoever needs a piece of me.

When you feel like hope is gone look inside you and be strong and you’ll finally see the truth that a hero lies in you..

Let us normalize being there for ourselves, meditate and get your mind blank step out of your body and just stop living for a minute… and when you come back you will know that you are still here for a reason.

Seeing where my mental health is at right now I know the battles I’ve had to fight and win to get it to where it is and I won’t let it all go to waste. Because I am here for myself no matter what. I am my own hero and so are you.

Because heroism isn’t just bravery or guts or shrewd maneuvering. These things are common and are often used in unheroic ways. No, being heroic is the ability to conjure hope where there is none. To strike a match to light up the void. To show us a possibility for a better world—not a better world we want to exist, but a better world we didn’t know could exist. To take a situation where everything seems to be absolutely fucked and still somehow make it good.

Life is for living so let’s live it up homies… 😊❤

@lilianfrankie TODAY’S INSPIRATION: be inspired

People that self pity

What do you complain about the most?

Basketball

What are your favorite sports to watch and play?

MY 5-HOUR TREK INTO THE JUNGLE.

MY 5-HOUR TREK INTO THE JUNGLE.

Breath in, breath out… and I got mesmerized by a wave of quality fresh air. It was the first time in so many years that I was inhaling this kind of air owing to the fact that I have lived most of my life in the urban part of the country. The few hours I spent in the jungle of Rushaga gave me the most quality hours of my life.

The big trunks supporting humongous trees, the humongous trees supporting the big branches with their leaves peacefully swaying from left to right, the big and small birds chirping in the air, the crickets singing to their baby crickets. This right here was life!

The Bwindi Impenetrable forest is situated in the Kisoro and Nkuringo districts, Rushaga is one of the four gorilla trekking regions in the Bwindi impenetrable forest and is the only sector to offer the gorilla habituation experience.

Rushaga is in the southern sector of Bwindi impenetrable forest and is a home to seven mountain gorilla families, the highest population density of the park. It has animals like bushbucks, warthogs, forest elephants, and my all times favorites the mighty mountain gorillas.

The gorillas share a whopping 98% DNA with humans and just like the humans, they also have their own families that they belong to. There are families like the Nshonga gorilla family, Mishaya gorilla family, Kahungye gorilla family, Busingye gorilla family, Bweza gorilla family, Mucunguzi gorilla family, Rwigi gorilla family, and Bikingi gorilla family.

My family and I made a 5-hour journey to the deepest parts of the Bwindi Impenetrable forest. And boy oh boy is this forest impenetrable.!! How peaceful it is in this jungle, you will never believe me not until you make the trek yourself.

Trekking deep in this jungle surrounded by wild animals with so much danger and at the same time feeling so peaceful, the irony in this is absolutely unmatched. I not only enjoyed the quiet in this forest but also discovered that hiking is actually one of my hidden talents. This place is absolutely peaceful and relaxing. For a moment, I wanted to just sit there before the cliff, to just sit long time till mists had cleared, to hear the clear stream run cold; hear the birds chirping, leaves swaying like what cares could trouble my mind right now? But well, Since I couldn’t sit there I just had a mindfulness meditation.

Mindfulness meditation methods can be practiced outdoors. In addition to awareness-of-breath practice, walking meditation and focusing on sounds are great fits when you’re meditating outside. With walking meditation, you’ll pay attention to the contact of your feet with the ground as you mindfully advance. So, you don’t always have to close your eyes, you can as well meditate while walking or carrying on with your daily activities.

It has been widely proven that meditating outdoors can have significant benefits on your physically as well as mental health. The connection that is built with nature helps reduce blood pressure, increase the production of dopamine and oxytocin; and a feeling of more energy. With nature meditations, we focus our awareness on the experience of nature — sight, sound, touch, smell (and perhaps even taste). Ever wondered why meditation retreats and monasteries of all spiritual traditions are often found in the mountains or deep in the forest? There are many benefits of meditating in nature—it’s a place where wisdom and perception come alive. Meditating outdoors activates our senses, making our practice more alert and wakeful. At the same time, the usual distractions seem far away and somehow less important. Many meditators find it easier to let go of their worries and their electronic devices when they’ve got such a satisfying alternative: mindfully communicating with nature.

In Asia, the accomplished meditators of yoga believed that isolation in the wilderness was conducive to advanced mindfulness training. They would retreat to hermitages carved into mountains or hidden among the flora of the jungle and spend time in deep contemplation.

A word of caution nonetheless. As beautiful and restorative as nature can be, her power and unpredictability are not to be underestimated. People who meditate in nature should be aware of potential dangers: check the local weather to see if you’ll need protective clothing and a sunscreen or a rain cape and bring bug spray to ward off disease-carrying mosquitos and ticks. Familiarize yourself with the local wildlife and stay safe: in my case, I would definitely have to watch out for the gorillas, elephants, rattlesnakes which would unlikely benefit my meditation!

Can’t make it to the wilderness to meditate just now? How about your compound, balcony, back yard, or the nearest public park?

THE MENTAL STRENGTH DAILY DOSE WITH FRANKIE 😊❤

Your mind is the most powerful tool you have for the creation of good in your life, but if not used correctly, can also be the most destructive force in your life. To control your thoughts means to influence the way you live your life.

Your mind, more specifically, your thoughts, affects your perception and therefore, your interpretation of reality.

I have heard that the average person thinks around 70,000 thoughts a day. That’s quite a lot!!, especially if they are unproductive, self-abusive, and just a general waste of energy.

You can let your thoughts run amok, but why would you? It is your mind, your thoughts; isn’t it time to take your power back? Isn’t it time to take control?

Choose to be the person who is actively, consciously thinking your thoughts. Be someone who can control your thoughts—become the master of your mind. Take control of your thoughts and learn to be in the present. There is so much beauty around us but do we even see it?!. We are so busy lost in our thoughts.

When you change your thoughts, you will change your feelings as well, and you will also eliminate the triggers that set off those feelings. Both of these outcomes provide you with a greater level of peace in your mind.

I currently have a few thoughts that are not of my choosing or a response from my reprogramming. I am the master of my mind, so now my mind is quite peaceful. Yours can be too!

Before you can become the master of your mind, you must recognize that you are currently at the mercy of several unwanted “squatters” living in your mind, and they are in control of your thoughts.

If you want to be the boss of them, you must know who they are and what their motivation is, and then you can take charge and evict them. When I was starting my meditation journey I always found it hard to shut my mind up. But I took it one step at a time, it wasnt easy but with consistency I can legitimately say that I am the master of my mind. 😎

Since you all know how I suck at reading, I’ve been listening to a certain beautiful podcast by Neville and from what I learnt, there are four “squatters” in your head that create unhealthy and unproductive thoughts.

1. The Inner Critic

This is your constant abuser who is often a conglomeration of:

• Other people’s words—many times your parents
• Thoughts you have created based on your own or other peoples’ expectations
• Comparing yourself to other people, including those in the media funny huh but yah it’s one of them.
• The things you told yourself as a result of painful experiences such as betrayal and rejection. Your interpretation creates your self-doubt and self-blame, which are most likely undeserved in cases of rejection and betrayal.

The Inner Critic is motivated by pain, low self-esteem, lack of self-acceptance, and lack of self-love.

Why else would this person abuse you? And since this person is you—why else would you abuse yourself? Why would you let anyone treat you this badly? So from the inner critic do you see how easy it is to self sabotage.

2. The Worrier

This person lives in the future—in the world of “what ifs.”

The Worrier is motivated by fear, which is often irrational and has no basis. Occasionally, this person is motivated by fear that what happened in the past will happen again.

3. The Reactor or Troublemaker

This is the one that triggers anger, frustration, and pain. These triggers stem from unhealed wounds of the past. Any experience that is even closely related to a past wound will set him off.

This person can be set off by words or feelings and can even be set off by sounds and smells.

The Reactor has no real motivation and has poor impulse control. He is run by past programming that no longer serves you—if it ever did.

4. The Sleep Depriver

This can be a combination of any number of different squatters including the inner planner, the rehasher, and the ruminator, along with the inner critic and the worrier.

The Sleep Depriver’s motivation can be:

• As a reaction to silence, which he fights against
• Taking care of the business you neglected during the day
• Self-doubt, low self-esteem, insecurity, and generalized anxiety
• As listed above for the inner critic and worrier

You are the thinker and the observer of your thoughts. You can control your thoughts, but you must pay attention to them so you can identify “who” is running the show—this will determine which technique you will want to use.

Begin each day with the intention of paying attention to your thoughts and catching yourself when you are thinking undesirable thoughts.

There are 2 techniques you can use to control your thoughts. There is the interrupt and replace and the eliminate technique. These techniques can be helpful to all the 4 squatters. The interrupt and replace technique is helpful for the inner critic and the worrier and the eliminating technique is deffinately helpful to the reactor and sleep deprived.

1. For the Inner Critic

When you catch yourself thinking something negative about yourself (calling yourself names, disrespecting yourself, or berating yourself), interrupt it.

Smile when you think about it or say it aloud, and phrase it in the present tense. Both of these will help you feel it and possibly even start to believe it.

If you can visualize what you are praying for, the visualization will enhance the feeling so you will increase the impact in your vibrational field.

Now, take a calming breath, slowly in through your nose, and slowly out through the mouth. Take as many as you like! Do it until you feel that you’re close to being in control of your thoughts.

Replacing fearful thoughts with gratitude will decrease reactionary behavior, taking the steam out of the Reactor.

For example: If your child gets lost in the mall, the typical parental reaction that follows the fearful thoughts when finding them is to yell at them.

“I told you never to leave my sight.” This reaction just adds to the child’s fear level from being lost in the first place.

Plus, it also teaches them that mom and/or dad will get mad when he or she makes a mistake, which may make them lie to you or not tell you things in the future.

Change those fearful thoughts when they happen:

“Thank You (your choice of Higher Power) for watching over my child and keeping her safe. Thank you for helping me find her soon.”

Then, when you see your child after this thought process, your only reaction will be gratitude, and that seems like a better alternative for all people involved.

3. For the Troublemaker, Reactor or Over-Reactor

Permanently eliminating this squatter will take a bit more attention and reflection after the fact to identify and heal the causes of the triggers. But until then, you can prevent the Reactor from getting out of control by initiating conscious breathing as soon as you recognize his presence.

The Reactor’s thoughts or feelings activate the fight or flight response just like with the Worrier. The physiological signs of his presence will be the same. With a little attention, you should be able to tell the difference between anxiety, anger, frustration, or pain.

I’m sure you’ve heard the suggestion to count to ten when you get angry—well, you can make those ten seconds much more productive if you are breathing consciously during that time.

Conscious breathing as simple as it sounds—just be conscious of your breathing. Pay attention to the air going in and coming out.

Breathe in through your nose:

• Feel the air entering your nostrils.
• Feel your lungs filling and expanding.
• Focus on your belly rising.

Breathe out through your nose:

• Feel your lungs emptying.
• Focus on your belly falling.
• Feel the air exiting your nostrils.

Do this for as long as you like. Leave the situation if you want. This gives the adrenaline time to normalize. Now, you can address the situation with a calmer, more rational perspective and avoid damaging behavior, and you’ll be more in control of your thoughts.

One of the troubles this squatter causes is that it adds to the sleep depriver’s issues. By evicting or at least controlling the Reactor, you will decrease reactionary behavior, which will decrease the need for the rehashing and ruminating that may keep you from falling asleep.

Master your mind and stop the Reactor from bringing stress to you and your relationships!

Most importantly, find your real motive. What’s your inner drive that can help you to keep on moving?

For the Sleep Depriver

(They’re made up of the Inner Planner, the Rehasher, and the Ruminator, along with the Inner Critic and the Worrier.)

I was plagued with a very common problem: not being able to turn off my mind at bedtime. This inability prevented me from falling asleep and thus, getting a restful and restorative night’s sleep.

Here’s how I mastered my mind and evicted the Sleep Depriver and all his cronies.

1. I started by focusing on my breathing—paying attention to the rise and fall of my belly—but that didn’t keep the thoughts out for long. (Actually, I now start with checking my at-rest mouth position to keep me from clenching.)
2. Then I came up with a replacement strategy that eliminated uncontrolled thinking—imagining the word in while breathing in and thinking the word out when breathing out. I would (and do) elongate the word to match the length of my breath.

When I catch myself thinking, I shift back to in, out. With this technique, I am still thinking, sort of, but the wheels are no longer spinning out of control. I am in control of my mind and thoughts, and I choose quiet.

From the first time I tried this method, I started to yawn after only a few cycles and am usually asleep within ten minutes.

For really difficult nights, I add an increase of attention by holding my eyes in a looking-up position (closed, of course).

If you have trouble falling asleep because you can’t shut off your mind, I strongly recommend you try this technique. I still use it every night. You can start sleeping better tonight!

You can also use this technique any time you want to:

• Fall back to sleep if you wake up too soon
• Shut down your thinking
• Calm your feelings
• Simply focus on the present moment

The bottom line is that your mind is a tool, and like any other tool, it can be used for constructive purposes or destructive purposes.

You can allow your mind to be occupied by unwanted, undesirable, and destructive tenants, or you can choose desirable tenants like peace, gratitude, compassion, love, and joy. My favorite quote has always been positive mindset attracts positive results. Try your best to spread as much love as you can.

Your mind can become your best friend, your biggest supporter, and someone you can count on to be there and encourage you. You can be in control of your thoughts. The choice is yours!

Self love 😍